July 14, 2017

This afternoon, my mother and stepfather arrived for a weekend visit.  It has been a little while since they saw Daisy, and she grows bigger and smarter by the day.  For almost two, she has a big vocabulary and an exuberant personality that is magnetic.  Surprisingly, Daisy and my mother, “Grammy,” have become good buddies this trip.  They sat at the table and ate blueberries, chips, cheese and sloppy joes together.  Then, they played with Daisy’s farm toys and colored with her new crayons that Mom brought. It has taken Daisy some time to warm up: She and my mom have seen each other a handful of times since they met last year.  While Daisy has allowed Grammy to be present, she hasn’t allowed much participation.  Today, she opened her heart to my mother and has even begun calling her “Grammy.”  To see my little girl begin to reach out to others for companionship and attention warms my heart.  Maybe she will form true bonds with people and learn to trust.  Maybe they will be worthy of  her.  While I know my grandmothers cared for me, I don’t recall ever sitting in their laps or them sitting on the floor to play with me.  Perhaps it was just a different generation.  But I appreciate that my mother sat in the floor tonight and played and laughed with her granddaughter and wasn’t afraid to look silly.  Those moments today are some of the happiest memories I have of my mother and this day has been her best in a long while.  Listening to the two of them talk at the dining table, watching Daisy share her new crayons with her Grammy, these are moments I will hold close on my bad days.  I should’ve taken a picture, but I was so busy enjoying the moment that I didn’t want to ruin it.  I wanted to live it.


November 6, 2016

She sat. With one weeping eye and a glass of wine she stared at the screen until her brow furrowed and her jeans strangled the paunch below her navel. This was torture, this empty screen, this blank space where nothing and everything had to make sense in a flurry of words. She bit her lip, took a deep breath, rolled her head around. 9:47 pm. She is no writer, no scholar, no one. Her only deadline is the inevitable end that awaits us all. It is silent save for the click and the whir of the machine. 9:54 pm. It ends.

Good Morning, Colorado

It’s 10 degrees this Black Friday morning and I have no intention of venturing out into the shopping nightmare.  Granted, we only have a handful of stores to choose from, but even the smallest of towns isn’t safe from the chaos that ensues on this day of greed. My plan is to sit right here with my family and enjoy the electric blanket.  Christmas shopping will be there on a warmer day.

What are your plans today?  Are you deal hunting or hiding out?

Can’t I Pee in Peace?

This morning I’m sitting in the bathroom, space heater blaring, and reading blogs.  It is a small escape from the responsibilities of my life.  Just for a few minutes, I want to be alone.

Suddenly, the bathroom door moves and in pops a fuzzy white nose.  Norah.  My little 12 year old pekepoo.

“Whatcha doin’, Mama?”

“Reading. Hiding.”

“I have to go out. Again.”


And with a last look that says, “Please hurry.”  Norah leaves, the bathroom door now cracked open.

Just a few more minutes, just another moment of freedom, please. I continue reading, looking for new and inspiring blogs to add some humor to my day. Then, another nose in the door: This one is gray and of a feline persuasion. Nan.

“Hi, Mama. Just thought I’d stop in.”

“Hi, Nan.”

“Can you open the other door, please?  I hate closed doors.”

“I know. But not right now.”

“Maybe later then.”  (She exits out the same door, disgusted)

Clearly, I need to improve my hiding techniques.  I used to have a walk-in closet where I could hide for at least 10 minutes before they found me.  Now, we’ve moved into a smaller place and there simply isn’t a way to escape.

I may never pee alone again…


Hiding from the Cold

I haven’t left the house today.  I haven’t even left my pajamas.  The temperature stayed below 40 all day, and I stayed hidden away under an electric blanket. We now have 3 electric blankets in the house and they are the best investments we ever made.  Unfortunately, they encourage utter slothliness.  But, I figure I’ve earned it for today.

It has been a month since I arrived in Colorado, and I have spent many many hours sorting boxes, cleaning, organizing, and, in general, fretting about whether or not we have enough room for our basic needs.  As it turns out, we do have room, but we have had to minimize A LOT.  I have donated numerous bags of clothes to the local clothing ministry, along with various other items that we just won’t use.  Plus, there are still several boxes in the garage with miscellaneous this’s and that’s that I will probably get rid of as well.  The upside?  We are finding that a life with less isn’t all that bad.  And living in a smaller house has its advantages.  Besides being easier to clean, I can hear all of my family members in the house no matter where I go.  With a mischievous 11-year-old and a 3-month-old baby in the house, that is a HUGE benefit.

We will be finishing going through the rest of the boxes tomorrow and Tuesday, just in time for Thanksgiving.  Unfortunately, my boyfriend has to work that evening so we will be celebrating, most likely, on Tuesday.  Keeping traditions is tough on his schedule.  I’m thinking that the girls and I will spend Thanksgiving evening putting up Christmas decorations – if I can talk myself into it.  Whatever we decide, I hope to make it memorable.  This is our first big holiday away from our Florida family and I want it to be special.

One thing is for sure, it will be cold.  The forecast says this coming week is set to be a chilly one, with lows around 10 degrees by the end of the week.  Thank goodness I have these electric blankets…  I’ll see you in the spring.